Will The Millennials Be Alright?

CONSUME:
I’m a TikTok fan - I tend to end my night with a nice 30-45 minutes of scrolling (my spouse may claim its longer, but whatever…)

As Scott Galloway and others have often mentioned, entertainment today is a competition for attention. Since discovering TikTok (btw I feel like a late adopter and I only downloaded the app to prepare for an informational interview with the company for a finance role that never went anywhere), the nights I decide to scroll for a bit are nights that I don’t flip on a streaming service. The algorithm is so good it can keep me quite entertained (mostly laughing so audibly that I am afraid of waking up my toddler).

Five videos in I encountered a “stitch'“ or a video that starts off with someone often asking a question or making a bold statement that another creator responds to by ‘stiching’ their video response so you ultimately watch one seamless video with the original question immediately followed by the creators response. Sometimes “stitch incoming” even flashes across the screen as the video kicks off.

The stitch begins with a creator named Christina asking: “has anyone else just noticed that weekends have just become different?” and then the stitch creator, Danielle, responds by highlighting how the pandemic completely changed how we feel about our time, citing a recent Atlantic article by Arthur C. Brooks on the matter.

A few stats she notes are that: 60% of people have not returned to post-pandemic activities, the number of people working remotely is up 3x and 59% of people feel its harder to form relationships now.

One of my favorite things to do when I watch any form of media with comments is …drum roll please… read the comments. All the comments make a variety of snide and laugh out loud comments like: “It’s also expensive outside”, in that vein, the most powerful comments for me were around the idea that we no longer have third places aka places outside of home and work where we can meet up with friends (and make new connections) that don’t require spending money. I’m sure I’ll talk more about it in future posts, but comments on TikTok often allude to the notion of late-stage-capitalism and the idea that Millennials are the last generation to have lived through a period of time when everything wasn’t monetized or squeezed for profit, rather we (allegedly) lived through a time when some things very simply just existed because they were fun and nice.

I agree with that idea in many ways (though not entirely) because so much of American culture today emphasizes either consumption (ahem) or hustling. You’re lazy if you aren’t always working with a million profitable side projects and you’re also clearly poor if you aren’t spending money on ways to make your life (seem) efficient or relaxed or cool or interesting. I’m reminded of 2 other TikTokers: one who mocks the idea of ‘poverty’ today in relation to the extreme wealth inequality that exists in the world and the other who highlights that idea that for many Americans, the only time in their entire life they will even experience a walkable, expansive third-place where you can make friends by simply existing in the same place at the same time is on a college campus.

Closing the loop, I do hate where society is today. Gross inequality aside, it feels like everything is a business, it’s harder to form new fresh relationships outside of apps (including anonymous ones like Reddit) or really exclusionary spaces (which does include college campuses in some ways) and that simply existing is not an option - you better be crushing it at something! I miss being a latchkey kid making a big bowl of milk and cereal, calling my dad’s office to ask if I can turn on the TV and binging some Pepper Ann without a care in the world (#WheresYourSupport - if you know, you know)!

Whoops need to scroll to the next video!

OUTPUT:
One of the hardest things about marriage or any intimate relationship is not being able to see what your partner does.

It woks both when your partner is feeling really down about themselves even though you very clearly see them as truly the most incredible person in the entire universe and when they are so preoccupied with something really important or exciting in their life and they miss the sweet bid for affection you made or didn’t hear that you told them to pick you up a sweet treat after work.

Often when you remind them of these things they still don’t hear it or passively acknowledge your comment.

Currently working to support my spouse when they’re in a dip and it’s tough because I see them as the most amazing human being, but they are really bumming. I am trying to offer them support with gentle and non-invasive reminders of why just why I love them.

Loving relationships take a lot more work than people led on way back when I was a kid…where was that class in school?